Epically Wrong
by Sailor Grape
Summary: Sometimes it's easier to say things with a big, flashy performance.  Unless it gets misinterpreted, and you look like a creep.  Spoilers for 2x12, WIGYA. Klaine!


Title: Epically Wrong

Author: GrapeSmshr

Rated: T for mild language

Disclaimer: I own all crazy Glee-related dreams and fantasies that have subsequently lead me to the land of ficdom.

A/N: This is my take on 2x12. I had to post it tonight since tomorrow it will be null and void. After watching the video for WIGYA, I HAD to get this out of my head! I read so many fantastic angst pieces by you guys, I was so depressed that I needed a pick-me-up. So, this is what I came up with. Fingers crossed that the spoiler was just meant to mislead us!

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Blaine held the pair of socks out to the GAP employee he and the Warblers had just finished serenading, slightly breathless. The performance had gone off much better than he had anticipated.

"So, what did you think?" he asked, smiling charmingly at the man behind the counter.

The still somewhat frazzled employee asked in slight irritation, "Was I supposed to be impressed?" He grabbed the socks and rang them up. "Because, one, I'm more into metal than douche-y pop singers. And two, see that chick over there in the pink sweater?" He pointed to a girl who was enthusiastically chatting with a couple of the Warblers. "That's my girlfriend." He took the money Blaine offered and completed the sale.

"Oh, yes, it _was_ supposed to be impressive," Blaine answered with a wink, taking the bag with his new purchase. "But it wasn't _you_ I was trying to impress. Thanks for being a good sport though!"

He whirled around, seeking out Wes and David. He found them in the back by the belt display, both sporting leather straps around their heads and pretending they were Rambo while chasing one another around making machine gun noises. "Can't take you two anywhere," he shook his head sadly before cracking up.

"Ok, Mr. I Just Serenaded A Stranger In A Tacky Mall Store To Impress The Boy I've been In Love With Since I Met Him," David retaliated, to which Blaine had the decency to blush. He and Wes exchanged sly glances before turning their invisible machine guns on Blaine and letting him have it.

Clutching his chest dramatically, Blaine collapsed to the floor in exaggerated spasms while his friends stood over him smirking in satisfaction. "Say, speaking of said boy, where is he?"

Wes shrugged. "After we finished singing, he may have high-tailed it out of the store looking like he wanted to go murder cute, innocent things. Or, say, you."

"And you let him leave like that?" Blaine screeched from the floor. He held up his hands so his two friends could hoist him to his feet. "Any idea where he could have gone?"

"Well, he couldn't have left since he didn't drive here, so my guess is he didn't make it far." David pointed to the front of the store. "Plus I can see him pacing outside that window."

Blaine followed his gaze and sure enough saw the other boy just outside the store. "You two are asses," he hissed before making his way to the front of the store.

Wes and David just stared at each other, shrugging. Then they ripped the belts off their heads and raced after Blaine, wanting to get a good spectator spot for the main attraction.

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Silently approaching Kurt, Blaine could see him typing away furiously on his phone, muttering under his breath. He couldn't quite hear what he was saying, but he thought he made out "Friggin' GAP store worker" and "dumbass." Well, that wasn't discouraging or anything…

Clearing his throat, Blaine smiled warmly at the brunette and asked, "Hey, where did you go?"

Kurt looked up long enough to scoff, "Oh, pardon me if I didn't stick around to bask in the afterglow of your serenade." He went back to texting, this time pounding the screen a bit more emphatically than necessary, eyebrows dipped dangerously low.

Blaine swallowed audibly. He knew that Kurt was positively _livid_, so he needed to explain himself-fast. "Kurt, let me explain," he began.

Suddenly Kurt's phone was pocketed, and he was so close that Blaine had to take a step back. "Explain what, exactly?" he asked calmly, lowly, his voice dripping with so much underlying venom that Blaine was sure his words could inject poison. "That you apparently have the attention span of a toddler when it comes to guys? That you would rather put on a huge production than be direct? And seriously, Blaine, The GAP? I know you are not exactly fashion conscious, but even _you_ usually have better taste than that." He wrinkled his nose in disdain.

"Are you finished?" Blaine asked, one eyebrow raised in amusement. He did so love hearing Kurt's tirades, but he didn't exactly want one aimed at his person just now. That would defeat the entire purpose of his plan. But damn if Kurt wasn't super hot when he was angry!

"Not even close, Anderson, but I will give you two minutes to attempt to explain yourself." Kurt took a step back and crossed his arms over his chest, the look on his face making it obvious that he thought he wasn't about to hear anything worthwhile.

_This is it, Blaine, don't screw it up_, he mentally cheered himself on. He took a deep breath and began, "I'll explain your points opposite the order you made them. Firstly," he ticked it off on his finger, "we performed at The GAP because Evan's sister is a manager here, so we knew we wouldn't get tossed out by security. Secondly, well… I guess all I can say is… I was nervous?" He chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck and freeing a few stray curls. "You know me, Kurt. You are my best friend, and you are the only person who ever truly could get me to open up about, well, almost anything. Sometimes it's easier to say things with a big, flashy performance."

He took a couple steps forward so that he was directly in front of Kurt, hoping against hope he didn't screw this last bit up. "As for the attention span comment, well, you are wrong. Epically so. That employee in there? He was just another part of the performance." Blaine held out the shopping bag to Kurt.

Eyeing it suspiciously, Kurt took the back and reached inside, pulling out the pair of warm black socks. His brows furrowed together in confusion. "Umm…"

"I bought them for you. Because whenever we have movie nights your feet always get cold. I figured you could leave them in my dorm." Blaine smiled shyly before continuing. "You see, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, my attention has only been on one guy for months now. I think you would quite like him. Great sense of humor. Phenomenal voice. Fabulous sense of fashion. And did I mention he was sexy as all hell?"

Kurt's eyes had been growing wider with each word; he was completely stunned into silence.

"Yeah, he only has one flaw." Blaine leaned forward conspiratorially. "He's a terrible, _terrible_ spy." He winked and, before he knew it, both boys were laughing so hard they were clutching onto each other trying to keep upright.

After they calmed down, Blaine reached up to ghost his fingertips across Kurt's cheek, trailing down his smooth jaw before settling at the back of his neck. Kurt had closed his eyes a moment ago, and Blaine was enjoying this moment to unabashedly stare at the beauty in front of him.

Opening his eyes, Kurt saw that Blaine was just staring at him in wonder. He exhaled noisily. "If you don't kiss me right now, Blaine Anderson, _I'll_ go after that scraggly-haired GAP guy."

"Good luck with that; he has a girlfriend."

"Ah, a buddy of mine at McKinley is using that excuse, too," Kurt chuckled, and whatever he was about to say after that was lost as Blaine's mouth finally-_finally_-found his.

Oh, it was everything Blaine had dreamed it would be-minus Wes and David cheering from the store, whom he had been steadfastly ignoring this entire time. Kurt had wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck, tugging their bodies impossibly close together. And now Kurt was using his tongue, and oh…it should be illegal how he was using it.

Blaine was swiftly being caught up in the moment but was unpleasantly brought back down to earth when Wes shouted, "Oi, lovebirds! You're still in the mall!"

The two boys jumped apart, blushing furiously as the entirety of the Warblers broke out into laughter and catcalls.

"Come on, you two," David said. "The faster we get back to Dalton, the faster you can pick up where you left off." He winked lecherously.

The boys groaned. Yep, there was gonna be some serious teasing in the weeks following. But one glance over to the gorgeous boy next to him, and Blaine knew it was all worth it.

Twining their hands together, they followed after their friends. Blaine couldn't help but lean over and murmur in Kurt's ear, "For someone who hasn't had a boyfriend before me"-at this Kurt beamed at him-"you really are an exceptionally exquisite kisser." He ghosted his lips across the shell of the taller boy's pale ear, making him involuntarily shiver.

Kurt squeezed their coupled hands together more tightly. "Oh, that's because I learned from my ex-girlfriend," he said breezily.

A pause. Then-

"WHAT?"

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Ahahahaha! I know Kurt mentioned he had been kissed before, but it never said he mentioned that he had a 'girlfriend' before… Hahahaha… I love Brittany… So yeah, writing this made me feel TONS better. I hope it helped fluff up your pillows as well!


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